Relationships

Hey!! So this week had been pretty hectic for me if I am honest, but I don't know if any of you guys can relate but relationships whether it be friendships of boyfriends/girlfriends are fucking stressful (yay!!) This week I learnt a lot of new things about old and new friendships and about ex girlfriends/boyfriends I have had. A friend (sort of? Its complicated) told me that sometimes my old friends would rant about me behind my back, and at first it hurt but none of them are my friends now and I just laughed it off afterwards, like I don't want on hate on my friend's friends' cause that aint fair but at the same time I can rant to you guys (if there are any of you's) I used to think that all of us would be together for the entirety of school but things changed and so did they . Our group was originally five but then fights occurred and one of the members left, we then met newbies the following year of school, I instantly fell for one of them as they were the definition of gorgeous as heck in my books but more on that later, they were amazing friends and always helped me in a bad situation, but our group was getting a reputation of being "the group that always has drama going on" admittedly I did cause a few of the fights but I somehow no matter what I did eventually someone would end up being mad at me, so I slowly left the group, but then when the friend I liked started to fade things in the group with began to turn horrible in the end I stopped being friends with my crush and honestly, in my whole life (which consists of fifteen shitty years) I have never felt that way for someone, I really liked him and I don't mean a tiny crush where you would giggle when they walk past, I mean full on holy shit on a bike I want you to be mine

Nowadays things are not great we haven't spoken in ages and it still really hurts to see him but I have gotten to a point where if I see him I just get a pang of regret but I don't cry anymore or anything (kinda) With some of the others they sometimes glare and stuff but I don't take notice that much. If I am honest I have had past shitty relationships and I feel as though the way they leave you tells you everything. I hope you guys have had better relationships than me both romantic and friend wise, At the moment my love life is so bad it's not even right!! I love being in a relationship and I love having that special someone in my life, I don't know I like a lot of people at the same time but there's this one girl who I want to know if she is gay and if she is I will be the happiest person alive but if she isn't then I guess I would be okay with being her friend too, we have common interest so hopefully something happens. Do you guys have any secret crushes?

I also want to give a huge shout out to my friends as I don't know where I wold be without then, I was sitting on the school green with some of them today, one in my lap,one on my shoulder and two sitting across from me, for the first time in a long time I felt whole, I was surrounded by people who made me incredibly happy and I wanted to stay there forever, I wanted to take out my camera and remember it. So a big shoutout to them, you all know who you are and a shoutout to the best Senpai in the world. I love you all

Signing off,

Luissa03xox